Monday, February 25, 2008

attention: it's contest time again!

i got an email from annie today:


"Have you ever looked at your stats and seen the search words somebody used that landed them on your blog?

Somebody found me by searching "putting a rubberband around my nutsack."

I bet they were surprised (disappointed?) when they saw the chicken playing with the llama nutsack story."


the funny thing is - uh, well, another funny thing is - i've been thinking about that for the past couple of days. (no, not about the nutsack thing. sheesh. you're such a goober.)

no, yesterday i got a hit on this blog from some deranged person in the bahamas.

they'd googled...
"porn grandmommy."


really?? you mean someone typed those words, together? like on purpose?
ewww.
but here's the 64 dollar question: is that disgusting or just plain ole funny?

i'm goin with both. but the wrong part of it is terribly wronger than the funny part is funnier, don't you think?

and guess what the first result was. yep, that's right. one of my entries. (and that was before this post, of course.) what's more, there were 409 results in google for *porn grandmommy.* not many at all as google hits go, until you consider the actual search words. and to that i say, YIKES!

(the picture up top was the second image result. this one i took was #4. )
hahahahahahaha.

i wish i could remember all the weird, ricockulos, funny, mind-boggling, frivolous, and otherwise bizarre ones i've noticed through my sitemeter, but they've all slipped my mind right now. as i recall them, i will post them in the comment section of this post, along with yours, i hope.

contest rules:

- what rules? just send me the best you've found from your own or someone else's blog. googled words, phrases, image results...whatever. gimme your best shot(s).

prizes?

- prizes may or may not be awarded depending on how hard you make me laugh and scratch my head in wonder and disbelief. discombobulate my sense of all that is right and holy with the human race. make me say, "what in the cornbread hell."







Read more!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

the lovely josephine comes to visit

my daughter lives in nacogdoches, but is registered to vote in austin so she drove the 240 miles yesterday to cast her early vote for barack obama. i can remember how empowered i felt the 1st time i was able to vote in a presidential election. good times.

of course the best thing about her visit was just that. her visit. some pics and reflections after the jump...

josephine recently cut her hair and donated it to *locks of love.* yesterday was the first time i'd seen her with her new do. the following is a slide show of stills from yesterday of josephine, my sister, reen, and myself. it's the 1st time i've tried embedding a slideshow, so you're on own negotioating your way through it, but if you can figure a way to flip through the 20 photos at a real fast clip it's almost like being there.



to describe the joy of spending 4 or 5 hours in relaxed conversation with my daughter is beyond my ability. let's just say she's a delight to be with and leave it at that.


another 1st occurred during our visit. i talked about the car wreck, the sounds, the different emotions, the severity and extent of both the accident and the injuries, as well as the healing that has taken place since. sharing details and recalling the experience out loud was cathartic in a way.

thanks, josephine. (and if you have that picture in your computer of you at about 1 year old with peach fuzz for hair, please send. i need to post it.)

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Friday, February 22, 2008

more news from austin and... the DOTD

at scholz garten last night, one of the many places austinites watched the debate on tv, a rowdy crowd created a drinking game. "every time obama says 'change,' 'hope' or 'believe,' you drink. and for clinton? any time she says 'record,' 'experience' or 'mexican food.'"

hahahahahaha. ya think anyone got plastered?

after the official debate clinton and obama went all over town. among other places, clinton went to guero's taco bar and obama went to the austin music hall...

i begged my brother to take me to that one. it wasn't publicized, but we knew it was happening because the brother caters for the bands there. we coulda gotten in, but he was sure we'd also get kicked out. i guess he likes his job or something.

what a chicken - *#!@.

anyway, it turns out obama got up on stage with ray benson, joe ely and a bunch of other musicians and sang "boogie back to texas." kinda reminds me of bill clinton playing the sax on the tonight show. he also played catch with ut's quarterback, colt mccoy, yesterday. (i know, big deal, right?) those pics aren't available to copy for some reason.

tonight there's an obama rally on the state capitol grounds. (if anyone remembers my old blog, that's where i "almost" got a date with amy sedaris.) that should be cool. last time he was here, over a year ago, 15,000 people showed up on the shores of lake austin. i betcha there're at least twice that number tonight.

and now for something completely different.
for you dog lovers, pack your bags and meet me next friday night for yappy hour at my favorite coffee shop, the irie bean. i just love this concept. and the picture is priceless.



now, if this dog would just show up...

Dog O' The Day:


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debates and puzzles. discuss.

the next president of the u.s. and his primary opponent were 5 miles away from here last night. about the most interesting thing about their debate, to me, was the setup. it was held in the university of texas gymnasium which holds about 43,000 people.

over 40,000 applied to attend, but cnn staged it to accomodate 2000. a few hundred university students were included by way of raffle and 100 ordinary citizens were granted entry. the rest? i dunno. pundits and very important poohbahs, i s'pose.

last week in the small east texas town of nacogdoches, the lovely josephine got to shake bill clinton's hand. i'm jealous. i wanted to at least see the visiting dignitaries.

the truth is, they could have filled the 85,000 seat stadium next door had they wanted to.

but it's just as well. the *debate* was pretty boring. sorta like a monday new york times crossword puzzle if you ask me: unique, impeccably structured, but too easy, and as a result, not very interesting. you do it because it's the nyt puzzle, because it's there - not for a challenge. not to learn anything really.



i mean, it's history in the makin', for god's sake. the first black and the first female american presidential candidates with a real chance to hold the office. ever. right here in downtown austin dukin' it out. how exciting is that? i'd have loved to have been there in person.

speaking of the nyt crossword...


my daughter sent me a care package right after my wreck. it was full of tasty treats, and books and stuff. (thanks, josephine)
one of the books is a collection of nyt x-words from 2003. i finished them a few days ago. when i say finished, i really mean i finished the thursday, friday and saturday ones.

i did a few of the monday ones and then started just filling in the theme portions until i got bored with that tact. then i did the rest in my head, without pen as much as possible. i found various ways to make the monday-wednesday ones challenging. or at least interesting. (see what i mean about comparing them to the presidential debate? i mean, i watched the rerun. at least parts of it. but i'm here to tell you...bor-ing. i'll take reruns of mayberry rfd over that piffle any day.)

now, the friday/saturday puzzles in this book were a whole different matter. the third to last one in the book, constructed by randolph ross, and of course edited by the inimitable will shortz, was my favorite by far. here it is:





can you see it?
you see the 4 long answers? 4 down, 24 across, 10 down and 52 across? pretty dang clever, huh?

discuss.

(with clues)



i wish will shortz was in charge of staging the presidential debates. i think he'd do 'em up right. it would be fun to see a *monday night debate* and a *tuesday night debate* and so on. you could definitely fill up the the largest venue anywhere for a *saturday* quality debate. and just think of the advertising revenue, cnn!
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

"where the hell are you?" (chris)*

the short version:

-what happened when? ...well, i had a little car wreck a couple weeks ago.
-where are you? ...in stephenville, texas at my sister's house.
-who's house? ...my sister's. she's my *caretaker* for now.
-how are you? ...i'm healing. i'm fine. a-ok.
-why didn't you let us know? ...oh, i dunno. just kinda "private, secretive, untruthful," i suppose.**

and please, no sympathy comments. ok?

a few pics after the cut...

-the car.
they cut the top off to get me out. and then i got a hellicopter ride!




-me.
when my 5 year old nephew 1st saw me after the fact, he said, "Wick, i'm sorwy about youwuh chin." so sweet.

hahahahahahaha.


-a view from the porch in stephenville.


-and a view of the porch.
the nights are so so star-filled it's breath taking. i like it here.



-me and my awesome sister. (photo taken about 6 years younger. how come she doesn't look any older and i do?)


-a therapist came in to the hospital room and asked the guy in the next bed did he know he was gonna be operated on the following day? no.
his legs were broken and he had lots of steel pins sticking out of them. he was being discharged a few days later. she told him she was gonna teach him how to get out of bed without any help so he'd be able to do so when he got home.
he said, "i don't have a home."

not my leg. my legs are fine. not his either. his looked much worse.



me? i may not like it, but i sure am lucky. (anyone up for a game of twister?)


*chris
**an idictment of me made by an ex several years ago. i'm just beginning to come to terms with the truth of it.

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

you know you're lame when...


your submissions to CU30S aren't even posted. and you know you're really lame... when you post said losers on your own blog...




(the dolly/rick pic was photoshopped by Dann the Man, the dog drawing came about while tuning my ukelele and asking myself the ageold question, "why are a dog's knees put on backwards," and the captioned photo is just too dumb to even be corny.)

dangit. i sure do miss goofin' around on the computer.

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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

HOTD and miscellaneous mom stuff...




i think these two of mom cutting out snowflake decorations kinda nicely complement the videos below of the lovely josephine. (long-time readers have or may have already seen the videos. well, that's tough.)

Jo vid


Jo funny vid


this is the lobby i mentioned a few posts back. that's mom's apartment door across the way and to the right.



joe and mary anne circa 1944...


hey! so what happened with the pants story? meh...maybe another time. in the meantime, check out the NEXT BIG THING in internet fun - brought to you by sean the magnificent.
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Monday, January 21, 2008

proud papa

shakin' it up in east texas. (*edited 1-22 )

in my imagination, it's kinda like that DJ on Northern Exposure. remember that show? he always talked it up. he always kept it real. but this is no tv or movie star...

this is my son, sean. he's 23 years old.
he works in a university library.
i'm always very proud of him, but never moreso than i am today.

today he went to work, wrote an email to his boss, the library, and the board of regents, and then he went home.

before sending it out he showed it to his boss who said something like, "but you have an awful lot of work to get done today."
"i'll get it done later," he replied.

(* i didn't show it to my boss, but she did say that i had a lot of work. and i said "want me to do anything really important before i leave?" she said no.)

he told me about this on the phone before i read his email. i have to admit, as a parent i couldn't help but worry a little about *job security.*

after i read his articulate, heartfelt missive, any silly worries i may have had immediately evaporated. i was left with nothing but a sense of overwhelming pride and admiration.
thanks, sean. you're an awesome man.

i've posted his email after the cut.


Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day which commemorates a man and a legacy that still resides within the people who lived through the Civil Rights Movement. Yesterday, I spoke to a man who said he would be volunteering at his church today, because that is what he was doing 40 years ago. I was almost ashamed to tell him that I would be at work. Today is not a day to be belabored in work, nor is it a day to sleep in and watch the Price Is Right. Today is a day when we should remember good people and their sacrifices, a day every American should hold on to, lest we all forget how important our individual choices are.


Today is not just about celebrating Dr. King's life, but about reflecting on the entirety of the Civil Rights movement. Beginning in the early 1900's with the Jim Crow laws and then in 1954 with Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka Kansas, we as a nation began to grapple not just with the blatant and vigorous racism in the south, but with the illegitimacy of the system of institutionalized racism across the entire country.


Since that time, we've certainly come a long way, but not yet long enough. The Movement is not dead, and work continues to be done in the name of equality and tolerance. Recently, Emmit Till's murder case was reopened, and similar cases are being examined to this day. Last year Corretta Scott King died. Two years ago Rosa Parks died. What are we telling our family, children, friends and the rest of the community by working today instead of commemorating, celebrating, or even discussing why Martin Luther King Jr. is a "national holiday"? What happens when no one remembers? When holidays become nothing but symbolic gestures, stripped of actual meaning and purpose? It is our responsibility to treat this day with the respect it deserves. I am going home because I will not disrespect this day and I think it is contemptible for the library to be one of the few institutions to remain open.


On April 3rd, Dr. King gave a speech entitled "I've Been to the Mountaintop." I encourage you to visit http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkivebeentothemountaintop.htm

and either read or listen to Dr. King's speech. If you don't have 45 minutes to listen to one of the greatest speeches in American history, at least spend two minutes reading the end. Dr. King told that congregation in Memphis that he "Like anybody would like to live a long life" and that the "Promised Land" was closer than it had ever been. He said:


"I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!"


He knew that the promised land wouldn't come overnight. He knew that people had tried to kill him, and would try again and again. He knew that "we as a people" didn't mean just black people or white people, and he knew that the promised land would only open it's doors when we as a nation knocked loudly on the gates of justice with respect and unity. This is a message that all Americans, regardless of race, class, religion or gender should be able to support and honor, and that is how I intend to spend this Martin Luther King Jr. day. Dr. King was killed the day after his Mountaintop speech.


I know that a lot of offices are open today, but many more are closed. If you have information on how to make MLK day a non working holiday, or want to get involved, please contact me.

--
Sean B****


Digital Projects Specialist

*********@sfasu.edu

936-***-****
R.W. Steen Library

SFASU


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Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Saga of the Pants (part II)

Brought to you Live! from Vickery Towers...that's right folks, still no internet at home, but a friend did send me her old laptop yesterday, so i have a word processor. pretty awesome generous, huh? thanks a million, Annie. i checked on getting it adapted to access the net, but apparently no one supports windows 98 anymore.

Last week's headline news:
~Premature Attackulation in the Persian Gulf Avoided (phew!)
~Presidential Debates Continue (to make few proud to be americans)

and after the break, our lead story...
~Rick Goes Shopping Again


"excuse me, ma'am, i'm looking for some pants for my mom. can you help me?"
"sure, what size does she wear?"
i circle my arms in front of myself, fingertips 8 or 9 inches apart. "Big," i say. "i think she's pregnant."
the sales girl looks at me funny - i'm 56 years old myself - and asks, "have you tried the maternity department?"
"great idea! thanks. where is it?"
"we don't have one."

as patiently as i can muster, "just show me what you've got in size 20 - 24, please."

nearly an hour later i left with the only two pair in the entire store that might possibly fit and went to another store where i wandered around for at least an hour without ever seeing a sales person. the pants there were randomly placed in racks with jackets and shirts all over the place. i felt like a rat in a maze, a fish out of water...choose your own cliché. i imagined i was in a foreign land doomed to roam hopelessly, lost without any way to communicate with the natives (who were apparently invisible) for the rest of my life. at this point i was hoping the rest of my life would be a mercifully short time.

on my way out i passed the underwear department. AHA! maybe i won't have to leave empty handed after all.

30 minutes later i had achieved nothing - other than arrouse the suspicion of the other shoppers. all ladies, of course. i finally got up the nerve to ask one of them where i might find size 20 or so underpants, quickly adding "for my mom."
she was sorting through a rack of really large bras (my favorite) which were clearly too big for her and i was hopeful that she was shopping for her mother, too, and would take pity on me. maybe even offer to be my guide through the jungle of womens' undergarments.

"they don't sell panties that large in a store like this. you'll have to go to a Lane Brant."
"oh. where do i find Elaine?"
"no, Lane Bryant. it's a store that caters to plus size women. there's one in valley view shopping mall."
"thank you ma'am."

i left not only empty handed, but with dread in my gut. Valley View Mall...my worst nightmare - the suburban mall.

to be continued... (probably 2 or 3 installments to go, but it does have a happy ending. well, sort of.)

p.s. you may be wondering why i don't take mom with me to try stuff on. well, i'll tell you why. the last time my daughter, the lovely josephine, and her mom took her shopping it was for shirts. they were mortified when mom came out of the dressing room with no shirt on to look for something else to try on.
and that was 3 years ago! her condition has "progressed" immeasurably since then and besides...i'm talking pants and underpants here, not shirts.
sonny boy ain't goin' there. capiche?
Read more!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Saga of the Pants (part I)

i think mom's pregnant. no, really. she's HUGE. one look at her wardrobe and my suspicion is confirmed. a 1/2 dozen size 14 and 16 pants that fit her just fine a few months ago are now WAY too small for her.

she cut the waistband of one pair of black ones and that's what she wears every single day. when it's time to wash them she has nothing else to wear, so she just doesn't wash them. my formerly fastidious mother says, "oh.? do you wash pants?"

P.U.

the other day i discovered she's snipped the waist of her underpants, too. all of them.

but i guess there's nothin' to worry about really. i mean, any day now i'm sure she'll give birth and then all those 14s and 16s will be back in service again. right? (please tell me i'm right.)


i know you've heard it before: i am not a shopper. so it seemed like a pretty big deal, to me at least, to go to a department store and shop for ladies pants. i came back with every style and color from size 18 to 24 they had. mom was confused as to why she was being asked to try on 8 billion pairs of pants, but she did it. an hour later i was proud of both of us and she had 2 new pairs of pants thet fit her. in the waist, that is. they were still 6" too long. one was made of cotton and had to be washed before being hemmed...

unfortunately, somewhere in "the land of the missing laundry sock" now walks a size 20 pair of lady's pants. i kid you not. gone. poof. just flat disappeared.

no problem. still got the other new ones. she tries 'em on for me to mark the hem for length...
"these are too tight in the waist."
"what!? no way! they fit fine last week." (i'm tellin' ya, she's gotta be preggers.)
"i'll just cut a slit in the waist. that's what i always do."
"no, mom. you're NOT cutting those pants. i'll just go shopping again."

to be continued...panties and all.
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define irony.

of course mom's unable to understand why the elevators are keyed ("i should know that code by now." yeah, riiight...), why she needs an escort to go anywhere, and doesn't remember her dining room is not still downstairs (she's been going to this one 3 times a day for meals and at least once more for some activity or another for 6 months). she has no idea how to get to any of the places we go to downstairs several times a week. she can get lost just thinking about leaving her room, but she still can't get over how dumb it was to have been talked out of having a car. when i came home from austin last week she got a little perturbed, saying, "i'd like to go to austin. if i had my car i'd just drive myself."

now, that's a SCARY thought...

we were sitting on the couch in the 4th floor lobby the other day when Oleta wandered by again. up and down the hallway she walks, always carrying her baby doll close to her chest, often carrying a few random objects she's pilferred on her never ending trek.
i think she's cute. mom thinks she's weird. the truth is she just has alzheimer's.

anyway, Oleta came over and stood behind the couch. we turned to look at her, saying hello. she started speaking unintelligbly, but with apparent purpose. it sounded like she was sharing something important, secret, almost wise - but only in tone. the words weren't exactly gibberish, but they were incoherent and disjointed. mom and i looked at each other bewildered. Oleta walked away.

a slight smile crossed mom's face and she said, "i'm not so sure she should be wandering around."

i smiled back, "oh, i think she's safe here, but i'm sure glad she doesn't have a car."

mom laughed uproariously and said, "now THAT'S a scary thought!"

p.s. if that's not ironic to you, how 'bout this one:
yesterday was martin luther king's birthday. here at vickery towers the evening program was "a tribute to the king." yep, you guessed it...it was all about that other king. elvis.
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Tuesday, January 8, 2008

thanks for the computer troubleshooting sugesstions annie, joanne, rick (are you the rick who comments on the xword blogs?) and ld, but i'm afraid my computer is toast.

i still hope to someday be able to retrieve at least some of the over 6000 pictures and some of the several dozen word docs of stories and snippets of stories i've written.

probably a third of the photos are irreplacable, having been taken by myself, family or friends. a few dozen more were tediously removed from old (real old) family frames or culled from messy boxes full of old family photos and then scanned. the rest were all just pics i've collected off of the interwebs over the last few years. i'm kicking myself now for not at least using the picassa feature that allows you to post photos to a website. DOH!

the word docs were the few i felt were too good to trash the last time i purged my various attempts at writing fiction. no great loss, but it still hurts.

ah well...maybe the dreaded BSOD is tryin' to tell me to get out in the real world for a change. ya think?

(that image is one i got off the web. i have no idea what the specific whatevers were in the one i actually received.)

more rambles after the jump...

speaking of real people as opposed to cyberpeople, i might have to break down and call an old girlfriend. no, it's not what you're thinkin'. get your mind outta the gutter. she plays in the Dallas Symphony Orchestra and back when we were together i had free tickets to all of their concerts. i just read that tonight the DSO is adding a guitar and vocals to present "The Music of Led Zeppelin: A Rock Music Symphony."
having missed the historic one-night reunion last month (i betcha you did, too), i'm kinda tempted to make that phonecall.

check out this review to find out more:

"Unfortunately, this preview isn't about a last-minute booking of the mighty Led Zeppelin mere weeks after its triumphant reunion gig in London. Still, if that event had you licking your lips for more from one of history's most important rock bands, this gig is for you. "The Music of Led Zeppelin: A Rock Symphony" isn't strictly a rock show, though; it's 18 of Zep's classics performed Trans-Siberian Orchestra-style with a 50-piece ensemble ( drawn from our own Dallas Symphony); a sultry female lead violin player (Allegra, a Trans-Siberian Orchestra veteran); and pedigreed stand-ins on guitar and vocals (Randy Jackson of underrated 1980s rock trio Zebra, which got its start in New Orleans in the late 1970s playing Zep and Rush covers). Would Robert Plant, Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones approve of arranger-conductor Brent Havens' treatment of, say, "Immigrant Song," during which the French horns mirror Mr. Jackson's alto wailing as the violins follow along in a higher octave? Perhaps. No, it won't be like the historic Dec. 10 performance at O2 Arena, much less one of Led Zeppelin's legendary 1970s concerts. But it'll still be powerful."


why not just go buy a ticket, you ask? hahahaha. same reason i'm not gonna *just go out and buy* a new computer, silly.
in the meantime i'll see how long and i can get away with using this public computer at mom's residence. i'll blog a mom post later, but right now i'm feeling a little paranoid about being on it for so long. i'd like to try to catch up on some of y'alls' blogs, too...ok, the security guy just came in as i was typing those words. he didn't say anything, but gave me a funny look. maybe it's ok. we'll see.

oh & one last comment:
WELCOME BACK jon stewart and stephen colbert! i thought they were both hilarious last night. Read more!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

where is my magic wand?

dangnabit, i seem to have misplaced it.



if you can find a recording of Eva Cassidy singing this song, i dare say you'll be glad you did.

i'm at the public computer at VT where mom lives right now. sunday afternoon.
when i got home from austin last night i checked 2 or 3 blogs and then started this one about the song, "Oh Had I a Golden Thread." as i was searching for a video of the eva cassidy version my computer freaked out. blue screen with a warning to restart my computer to avoid further damage. yikes!

well, all i could do was shut it off completely as the mouse/keyboard didn't even function. when i turned it on again all i got was a red and white Compaq screen with something like this at the bottom: "esc=boot" (or something) and "F1=set up" (i think). needless to say, still no keyboard function. anyone have any suggestions?
no computer=no good in my book

how ironic is the title to this post considering my ornery computer? the craziest part is, i can't even remember what i was wishing for a magic wand or golden thread FOR.

i'll still have occassional access to this computer, but...what a bummer.


Oh, Had I a Golden Thread

Oh, Had I a Golden Thread
(Pete Seeger)

Oh, had I a golden thread
And needle so fine
I've weave a magic strand
Of rainbow design
Of rainbow design.

In it I'd weave the bravery
Of women giving birth,
In it I would weave the innocence
Of children over all the earth,
Children of all earth.

Far over the waters
I'd reach my magic band
Through foreign cities,
To every single land,
To every land.

Show my brothers and sisters
My rainbow design,
Bind up this sorry world
With hand and heart and mind,
Hand and heart and mind.

Far over the waters
I'd reach my magic band
To every human being
So they would understand,
So they'd understand.

Words and music by Pete Seeger (1958)
(c) 1959 by Stormking Music Inc.

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Friday, January 4, 2008

less is more

i love it. in spite of myself, that non-post broke this silly blog's all time record for hits and comments. holy moses. go figger.
in the meantime so much has happened i have no idea where to start. heck, i can't even remember where or when i left off. maybe i should just begin with today and work backwards and then see what comes out.

t'day i checked my email for the 1st time in a while. lo and behold, i found 3 from the lovely josephine. apparently she lurked through the blog and found one she'd missed and then sent me a couple of cool youtube music videos she knew i'd like.

here ya go. check this one out. (john prine and iris demment singin' *in spite of ourselves*...


(psst. did i say thank you for all the comments and encouragement while i've been on hiatus? no?
well that won't do..."thanks friends.")
maybe i'll include the other video the most beautiful josephine sent me after i try to sketch out the last few days. then again, you know me...maybe i won't.

- last sunday my daughter, the forementioned, most premium and lovely josephine, and i, bid adieu to dallas and hit the road.

- we've been 6 days so far in austin, texas. my brother and his family live here. my sister, reen, too. she lives in the little house out behind theirs.

- new years eve day i went downtown with brother luke and his wife and kiddo to a really fun festival. (i'd bore you with a boatload of pictures, but this is tough. it takes me long enough to figure that stuff out on my own dang computer.) so anyway, my favorite thing was the web all us thousands of people wove from multicolored yarns and then added our hopes and dreams to on little 3x5 cards attached to our own individual strands. my wish simply read, "reen is healed."
if the photo posted, realize you're only seeing a fourth or less of it. it was truly awesome.

- there was street art in the making -- bein' made by us attendees. there were old lady dance teams and younger than i am acting troups. there was lots of live music. at one point we stopped to listen and before i recognized the song in their kid-friendly show, i recognized the faces of the musicians! it was none other than... the Asylum Street Spankers! i'd never seen 'em live before. i felt lucky to be in that place and time. (check out the song on OTIS' page to hear the asylum's kid-friendly booger song....)

- i only made a fool of myself once on new years eve. (well, i think it was only once.)

- at some point my sister, lynn anne the magnificent, showed up. and then the incomparably beautiful josephine's boyfriend arrived with his dog clementine in tow.


- mumblecrust started writin' again. he may post some of it on the mosaicist's blog. it's all hand written though. pen and paper, ya know. no secretary. no dictaphone or typin' skills either. but i'll tell ya one thing right now; it's good stuff. i read it.

-seems we had a family meltdown at some point in there. no details t' share with you other than t' say, "if all else fails, try yer best t' Understand one another. and don't never, ever be too shy or too ig-nernt to NOT offer *doghouse roses.*


-as the john prine song at the beginning of this says, "in spite of ouselves...against all odds... we're the big door prize."

- i think it was yesterday that i took my sisters to see the dr. seuss exhibit at a local gallery i really like. {it's a little known fact: one of my favorite things about austin, tx is that permanent exhibit at *art on 5th*. [my other favorites are my family (family rocks), the gagillion hole-in-the-wall restaurants, my brother's cooking, and triple elipses.]} anyway, did you know that theodore geisel, aka dr. seuss, had a whole private collection of drawings, paintings and SCULPTURES of the fantastic imaginary world we all know from his books? well here's another hollow promise directly from me to you; one o' these days i'll blog about it. maay-be...

- today was spent watching the sun rise, coffee drinking/crossword solving, 4 hours in the hospital with the 2 greatest sisters in the world for reen's *minor procedure*, more shopping than i've prob'ly done in a lifetime, with those same 2 people...and it's all been more than worth it.

-i'll head back to big d pretty soon i suppose. i'd much rather just stay here, though.

oh &, what was that other video the lovely jtb sent me? (you thought i forgot, didn't you?)
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Saturday, December 22, 2007

sorry, folks


until further notice.
y'all have a merry christmas.

i feel a need to take a break. back to the real world. peace.
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Friday, December 21, 2007

it turns on a dime.

today was a good day at mom's. there's a 1/2 finished blog about it with a gajillion pictures. and even a 'shopping days til christmas' post, but they will rest in the queue until the blood in my legs returns.
suddenly i am emotionally numb. don't wait up for me.

if that all sounds overly dramatic, i apologize. *i'm* ok. just kinda limp. and concerned for a friend--some friends. peace, y'all.
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Thursday, December 20, 2007

2 items from gizmodo.com & other craziness


this is a bar. can you guess where it is?

INSIDE of a TREE?! no way. really?
yep. i think the ages are incorrect, but it's still amazing. click here to see a most unique place to grab a beer.

(for *some reason* this reminds me of my favorite groucho quote: "outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.")

and click here to read what dr. wikipedia has to say about the baobab tree. pretty interesting stuff, huh?



also in the misc. wow! category (or what in the cornbread hell?) and maybe just in time for your last minute holiday shopping needs...
"Pump up the breasts to your desired size or just have some fun on Halloween with mismatched breasts." i'm NOT makin' this shit up, folks.


speaking of breast implants, don't i remember a story a few years back about some lady's implant stopping a bullet or somethin' and keeping it from piercing her heart?

yeah, here it is.
the comments there are hilarious.


i suppose after all this boobie talk it's only fair to include a little poke at the lesser gender...

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wha? only 4 more shoppin' days?

you gotta be kiddin' me!!!

"get that tire changed, boys...
and hurry it up! we're runnin' outta time."



"sigh...i'm just not sure how much more of this i can take."

(thanks for the pics, isis.)



make no mistake about it. isis had nothin' at all to do with the next part.


and now abideth faith, hope, charity, and chocolate, these four; the greatest of these is not chocolate, but charity. so just forget the shoppin'.

1st corickthians 13:13

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

how y'all doin'?

this is a follow-up to a previous post dated december 16th regarding the plight of an important segment of the health care profession. two readers expressed concern. one asked what they could do to help.

for Chris and Betsy in particular, and for anyone else so inclined, Anne has responded with an article specifying some of the professional concerns of the EMT/EMS community and what you can do to help.

(the original formatting was lost in my cut and paste. all emphasis in what follows the cut is mine.)

as anne says, "it's long." (that's an understatement! hahahaha.)

but i ask you again, what if *you* weren't there to care for your loved ones? who's gonna go the extra mile for them when they need it most?


Wednesday, December 19, 2007

This is a long one......

I have been asked on more than one front to explain my last blog and so I shall. I will attempt to use a bit of brevity here, but if you know me, you also know that is a difficult thing for me to do. In order to understand where we are now in this profession, it is important that you understand where we have been and why today's issues exist. For those of you in the field, please bear with me as I try to explain to those who are not.


The 'ambulance drivers' as you know them today, did not begin as a profession until the 1970's. Prior to that, a person took their chances on funeral home services, the civil defense squads and just plain driving fast to a hospital. The hospitals were also ill equipped to handle emergencies as the doctors did not stay at the facility 24 hours a day. Even in the early part of my own career, doctors had to be summoned from home to respond to the emergency room (yes, a true 'room' as only one existed then). The doors were kept locked and it required someone phoning in, in most cases, to assure that the doors would be open upon our arrival.


The first people to work on ambulances did not necessarily have to be EMT certified, and paramedics were non-existent until the late 1970s. Even though the TV show Emergency was on the air waves in the early and mid-70's, paramedics were only found in large metropolitan areas, with most of them linked to the Fire Services. This is an important factor for part of the problems that we face today.


In 1973 the Emergency Medical Services Act dictated that all states in America develop an EMS system to respond to its citizen's needs. A template was developed by the Department of Transportation which gave direction for this federal law. Interesting to note that we are still regulated, federally, by the DOT. To make sure that compliance would be met, every state was given grant money to assure that the systems would be developed. This is another issue that came back to bite us in the butt later when the grants were eliminated.


I feel a need to explain the different levels of service that an ambulance crew provides when they are summoned as this is another area that most people do not understand. For the general public, we are all labeled as 'EMTs' and for those of us who have trained vigorously as paramedics, it is a near insult to be called such. Not that we feel that EMTs are less important, less efficient, or even less deserving of recognition, but it is equivalent to calling a Registered Nurse a Certified Nursing Assistant after all the long hours of training and responsibility that goes into the career. All nurses are not equal any more than all ambulance personnel are equal. There is a saying in our field that paramedics save people, EMTs save paramedics and that is very true. We could not exist without their expertise any more than a doctor can work independently of his nursing staff.


EMTs are trained to do more than drive, (please stop calling us ambulance drivers) and in this state they have the ability to start IVs, give some medications, and handle trauma patients nearly to the same capacity as the paramedic. Training here takes 14 weeks of intense 40-hour work weeks, or if they elect to be trained in a formal educational setting such as a technical college, they commit a full year of class work on a part-time basis.


To become a paramedic, you must already be certified as an EMT and in some cases, have experience under your belt to enroll. It is a full-time program no matter where the training takes place and with much cramming, it can be done in one year. To become a paramedic, it is a minimum of two years of training when you include the EMT level. As much time as it does to become a nurse. Starting pay for the average EMT is $8/hr., the paramedic, $10/hr. Nurses make up to $25/hr. to start. And let me add, that they generally work 40/hr work weeks and the average EMS person works 72+ hrs/week if they are lucky enough to have family to contribute to the income. Otherwise, they all work a second job and the hours can be in excess of 120/week. Even after nearly 27 years of service, I must work a second job to make ends meet. Think about that when you see an ambulance driving down the road at 3:00 in the morning and realize the person driving may be in their 48th hour of working straight, with little down time.


Paramedics can do everything, let me repeat that, everything that can be done in an emergency department in an acute emergency. They only things that they cannot do are the many diagnostic tests (blood work, X-rays) and the stabilization of injuries such as suturing cuts and casting broken bones. (In some states, they are even doing that) Our patches for such things are only temporary.


What is amazing about this field is that we are able to come to the same conclusions in most cases, treat with the same drugs and electricity, and tend to the general health and well-being of anyone, with any condition, all without the benefit of those diagnostics that are available in the ED. Most of these conclusions and treatments are done within literally, seconds. We train them to use all of their senses, see what is not there, and then react even before most people even realize that a problem exists. We do have some diagnostic equipment available and the speed at which more and more is available to us every year is astonishing. This alone elevates the costs of running an ambulance service tremendously. A cardiac monitoring machine costs somewhere in the area of $15,000, so you see how difficult it is to equip ourselves with the best tools that are available to us. We spend the dollars where it can do the most good for all.



Herein lays the problem. We are broke. We cannot continue to provide services with the resources that we are allotted. Now, before you decide to run off to another page because you feel I am merely whining about a money issue, let me give you some facts that may surprise you and may affect you personally.

We are mandated by law to respond to every emergency. This is not an option if you are a 911 service. Regardless of your ability to pay. We are also not able to pick and choose who we may treat and transport. "You call, we haul" is a saying in this field that is not a derogatory statement, but a fact. We are not able to say no, even if they are complaining of something as ridiculous as a hangnail. If you go to a doctor's office, he can elect to not treat you if you are not able to guarantee payment. A hospital must look at you in the emergency department, but they are not required to admit you, if you cannot pay. Many people call us not because they need to be in an emergency room, but because they need a ride across town and they know we do not ask for payment at time of service. I have had patients who were seen standing out on the street corner drinking a bottle of liquor from the local liquor store before I was even able to complete my paperwork at the hospital. They wave as we drive by. You call 911, we come.



Here are some hard facts:


Average cost for EACH ambulance transport is $415. This is factored by looking at costs to include fuel (almost all are diesels), salaries, mechanical wear and tear, insurance, equipment, etc.

70% of our patients are Medicare or Medicaid recipients, 25% are private insurance payees and 5% are self-pay.

In order for us to be reimbursed the patient must be suffering from an illness or injury which contradicts transportation by any other means.

If they can sit up, an ambulance is not required in most cases and payment is not made. We cannot bill the patient directly if they are not eligible for transport.

All medically necessary services, supplies and procedures are included in the base rate. We cannot bill for anything other than the transport.

Reimbursement is determined by zip code at point of pick up, not type of call, or services rendered.

Mileage can be billed, but only from point of pick up to closest appropriate facility. If the patient requests to go to a facility that is not closest, we are mandated by law to transport them there. We receive no mileage reimbursements for the overages. Medicaid will not pay for mileage until after an initial 10 miles have been driven.

Medicare only pays 80% of ambulance reimbursements after the patient has met their deductible ($131 for 2007). Here's an example:



Average Ambulance charge- $525.00

Allowable charges from Medicare- $330.89

Medicare reimbursement (80%) $264.69

Patient's responsibility- $66.20


Average collection rate for most ambulance services is at 40%. We will only see $26.48 from the patient. That means total collection is $357.37 for a $415. transportation expense. If transportation was denied by Medicare, we receive nothing and we cannot bill the patient.


Much Federal aid became available to emergency services after 9-11 and Katrina. Many of the grants available were focused on the obvious need for more training and equipment to handle terrorism and domestic preparedness. Not for operating costs to run a department. VERY LITTLE grant money was given to EMS alone. The EMS services that benefited were governmental or fire department based services, which brings me back to the origin of paramedical services. They were fire-based and therefore it is assumed that all EMS systems are still integrated with the fire departments. EMS services are the step-children in public safety and get very little in the way of aid. Some local governments give subsidies to their ambulance service to help defray costs, but average amount is about $200,000/yr. When most services put 200,000 miles or more on their units a year, look at the costs of fuel alone. How much did it take to fill up your gas guzzler at the gas tank? We probably average 10-15/mile per gallon with our units.


We are dying in this profession because we are no longer able to compete with the other healthcare fields. When salaries are so low, for twice as many hours and too oftentimes we are lucky to even put our head on the pillow, let alone eat, it is not surprising that the numbers are not there for people coming into this career. The technical colleges average a dozen paramedic students a year. In this state, only 38% of the paramedics who start a program are eventually licensed. We lost 81 paramedics last year alone due to death or retirement. The average age of an EMT is 43. For the paramedic, it is 40. Who will be left a few years down the road? We are literally, dying off, closing down and just plain going out of business. Many a day, I have purchased supplies out of my own pocket just to have what I needed to treat a patient. We have given until we can't give any more. We are desperately in need of help if there is any hope of remaining true to our commitments.


Here's what you can do. If you are in EMS, please call the politicians in your area and let them know what is happening. The ones we talked to at the senate hearings were shocked to learn of what our profession has become. They advised that they were not aware of the issues, and no one has approached them with any concerns, let alone any resolutions. Legislation is being drafted in this state to relocated monies to the EMS state offices to help us in becoming more financially secure, and try to make grant money available. Support the bills, call the legislators. If they hear from enough of us, they will act if only to shut us up. Go to www.ga-ems.com and read what is happening and what is being proposed.


If you are in the private sector, please support legislative changes in Medicare and Medicaid reimbursements. At least help us to break even. Call your legislators as well. Find out the condition of the ambulance service in your area. Raise funds. Buy much needed equipment. Some services rely totally on donations. See how your system is financed. Do not wait until a disaster to recognize that we exist and then praise our accomplishments. You have no idea how many people die annually in this field. We don't speak of it outside of inner circles, as it is not in our nature to let others know of our pain. Do a google search on LODD (line of duty deaths) and look at the numbers. Please don't pretend we don't exist until you call 911 and want us to work a miracle with units that are falling apart and equipment that may not work.


I, too, have kept quiet about our issues because our field was built on the concepts that if you can't play with the big dogs, stay on the porch. Suck it up. Make do with what you have. But I am now afraid. Afraid, when I see the numbers gradually dwindling in this wonderful profession because we don't have the resources or the attractions to bring in another generation, that we are truly dying a slow death. Help me make one last positive change for the people that I love and the career which has kept me sane for so many years. Our healthcare system is broken. Help us fix it. Read more!

5...

pretty bad santa picture today. sorry...
ok, maybe i should say, "REALLY bad"?

ahahahahahahaha


and in case you missed Bill Moyers' interview with Keith Olberman last friday, here it is with the complete transcript.


oh look! here's another bad one...oops.
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a brief interlude from the "shopping days until you know what" countdown...

do y'all know LEV? (no, not the artist in the Chaim Potok novel. the VIDEO ARTIST, silly.)

i think he's a pretty cool* dude. check this out and then look for more of his stuff. (thanks, terri.)


here's another really cool* video artist. (thanks, sean.)


BEWARE: that's a really mild brad neely video.
p.s. sean's my son. i don't know brad, but sean's way more cool* than brad.

IS TOO!

* not cool like "the cool guys," but for real cool.
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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

6 days...


it looks like santa might be in the pokey for christmas, folks. so you'd best get yer lazy asses in gear and hit the malls. time's a wastin'...

today mom said she was thinking about taking her santas down. i said that'd be ok if that's what she wants, but why not wait til after christmas?

"isn't christmas over? when is it?"


so we looked at a calendar together and she decided to keep them out for a while longer.








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Monday, December 17, 2007

only 7 shoppin' days left ... ♫ ♫ ♫



are ya ready? Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

more pictures here later...
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