Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Saga of the Pants (part I)

i think mom's pregnant. no, really. she's HUGE. one look at her wardrobe and my suspicion is confirmed. a 1/2 dozen size 14 and 16 pants that fit her just fine a few months ago are now WAY too small for her.

she cut the waistband of one pair of black ones and that's what she wears every single day. when it's time to wash them she has nothing else to wear, so she just doesn't wash them. my formerly fastidious mother says, "oh.? do you wash pants?"

P.U.

the other day i discovered she's snipped the waist of her underpants, too. all of them.

but i guess there's nothin' to worry about really. i mean, any day now i'm sure she'll give birth and then all those 14s and 16s will be back in service again. right? (please tell me i'm right.)


i know you've heard it before: i am not a shopper. so it seemed like a pretty big deal, to me at least, to go to a department store and shop for ladies pants. i came back with every style and color from size 18 to 24 they had. mom was confused as to why she was being asked to try on 8 billion pairs of pants, but she did it. an hour later i was proud of both of us and she had 2 new pairs of pants thet fit her. in the waist, that is. they were still 6" too long. one was made of cotton and had to be washed before being hemmed...

unfortunately, somewhere in "the land of the missing laundry sock" now walks a size 20 pair of lady's pants. i kid you not. gone. poof. just flat disappeared.

no problem. still got the other new ones. she tries 'em on for me to mark the hem for length...
"these are too tight in the waist."
"what!? no way! they fit fine last week." (i'm tellin' ya, she's gotta be preggers.)
"i'll just cut a slit in the waist. that's what i always do."
"no, mom. you're NOT cutting those pants. i'll just go shopping again."

to be continued...panties and all.

6 comments:

Joanne D. Kiggins said...

Wow, your mom is going up in pant's size! Is she feeling OK? Sounds like her belly may be distended. I'm no doctor, but I'd ask the nurses if she's having regular bowel movements, just in case she's blocked.

If there's no problem other than the preggo thing--good luck finding pants that fit and keeping them in her room. :D

flintysooner said...

Mom lost for a long while. Could not stop that no matter what we tried. Then she gained. Couldn't stop that either. But she didn't have Alzheimer's. I had a terrible time getting her clothes. Made me wish I knew how to sew. But then again she wouldn't wear what I bought either. And washing anything was out of the question.

Dad gained about the time we began dealing with diabetes. But eventually he began losing. Same problem on wearing anything new though and on washing.

rilera said...

I agree with Joanne, that doesn't sound normal. But if it turns out she is PG you might want to buy maternity pants (G).

cornbread hell said...

joanne and rilera, funny thing is, she appears to healthy as a horse. an obese horse maybe, but a healthy one nonetheless.

flinty, the weight thing befuddles me. the washing and wearing thing, too. it makes me feel a little better hearing you experienced some of the same.

~Betsy said...

I'd have her checked, Rick. My mom grew out of her clothes when her edema from her CHF got bad. She owned at least 30 pair of slacks but could only fit into 2 pair. I bought her all new ones and had to secretly replace them. It was a challenge. Let us know how things go. She could just be eating 2 deserts and not remembering.

*(·¸*Chris*¸·)* said...

Clotheswashing and the elderly don't go together for some reason. I think their sense of smell goes kaput on them and they don't realize they need to launder their stuff. It becomes a game of doing laundry while they sleep so they dont miss anything. I feel for ya.