Friday, November 30, 2007

i'm not a gamblin' man.

i may be the only person ever not to have plunked down a buck to play the lottery before. that's right. not ever.

my gosh! the odds are ricoculous. the chances of winning are barely shy of zero. the whole thing just seems dumb as rocks to me.

but think of the money!
and what you could do with it...

with that in mind, i propose a blogger's lottery consortium. if you have ever commented on this blog, on or before the date of this post, you are eligible to fully participate and it won't cost you a dime.

i, cornbread hell, do hereby attest and affirm, i will pay $1 on your behalf for a texas lottery ticket on a date to be announced real soon. the unlikely proceeds of such tomfoolery will be used for the following:

1. repay my 8 or so bucks!
2. pay ALL to and from airfare for said winners, but not their spouses, spices, or loved ones, to DFW airport for the sole purpose of meeting each other in person and hanging out together for however long is necessary.
3. the rest of the booty shall be divided equally and i don't care what you do with it.
3. all other stipulations are subject to debate and friendly argument.

a few up in the air questions and one official rule to follow.

- choosing the numbers? (i like 5151. that's my birthday.)
- maybe everyone should propose numbers and then we enter them into some sort of *this is what you get* machine.?
- choosing the particular lottery to enter? heck if i know.
- no, i'm not sure how many numbers are allowed.
- any non heretofore commenter who comments here within three (3) days is eligible for 1/2 benefits. unless you're a spambot or a jerk. (*jerk* to be determined by me.)

- this is NOT a joke.


Rick said...

i'm not a spambot. dunno about jerkness.

for the record - every 5 weeks i buy a 10 consecutive lotter draw for the same number. odd are ridiculous, yes. but i'm also in the lottery of life for a lot of other nasty things that fate might deal me ... so why not millions?

my fantasy is giving.

but would the reality be hoarding.

what is the nasty truth and am i wiling to find out?

cornbread hell said...

oh yeah? identify yourself. and don't stutter.

Anonymous said...

country code and city code of the island we can tour with all that money we are going to win!
(after giving half to charity, of course)


cornbread hell said...

"lydia oh lydia, say have you met lydia?
lydia, the Taaatooed Lady.
she has eyes that folks adore so,
and a torso even more so..."

that's 4 votes for the number 5 by my count.
(due to heavy traffic, please respond via regular email or phone.)

Annie said...

The Fisher King! I love that movie. It is one of very few movies that I own. Now you've birthed another earworm.

cornbread hell said...


dann walsh said...


this sounds just ridiculous enough to me to give it a shot...

after a quick google, it appears to me that six numbers are needed for 'lotto texas' and 'texas megamillions', here's my six...

02, 06, 21, 23, 56, 80

do with them what you will


(it appears to me that the texas megamillions is the same/part of/affiliated with the new york megamilloins?!)

when i win, just send the jet... with COLD beer on it!)

cornbread hell said...

when WE win, i will send the jet post haste and the flight attendants WILL be wearin' hot pants.

Annie said...

I know that song from The Fisher King. And now have that song in my head.

cornbread hell said...

i can't say i'm sorry you have that song in your head now. it's a pretty great song.

i know it from an old marx bros movie. i think it was "at the circus."

just to torment you a little more...oh lydia oh lydia, say have you met can learn a lot from lydia...

Annie said...

I don't have any numbers to offer, but can I request that there also be male flight hot pants!

cornbread hell said...


sure you can, annie. and when we win i think part of the proceeds should definitely be spent on makin' sure of it.

"men in hot pants"
is that the name of a band?

rilera said...

I've bought lottery tickets a few times. But only when the jackpot is really huge. I like the days before the drawing when I mentally plan what I would do with all that moolah. It's nice to dream.

cornbread hell said...

i've heard wednesday nights are good, but i don't really know. would you like to be in charge of pickin' the day?

i'm pretty sure we're gonna win.