my funny valentine (neighbors)

so this morning my neighbor rupert and i go krogerin'. we get to the flowers and he starts mumbling. then he walks over to the flower lady and asks, "where's the cheapest flowers you got?" "well, sir, these are all $(whatever she said.)" and rupert says, "i am not spending that much money on that bitch. can't i just buy one?"

and the flower lady says, "did you just call me a bitch?"

and rupert says, "no ma'am my wife's the bitch."
"well, that's not very nice."
"you are right. and if she'd quit ACTING like a bitch she'd be a whole lot nicer!

(ok, i made the last part of that dialogue up, because i was already laughing too hard to hear what was actually being said.)

so rupert buys some daisies and i ask him if he used to watch the addams family.
"sure, why?"
"do you remember what morticia always did with the flowers gomez would bring her?"
rupert laughed and said, "she cut the flowers off!"
"yes, and gomez would always say how much nicer they looked then."

at that point i could see the wheels in rupert's mind spinning as he fingered his pocket knife.

but he didn't do it.

....................................

fast forward a couple of hours...

...i go over to rupert's to see how things are going. pablo, the son, comes to the door. "he's not here. he and my mom went to luby's for lunch."

me: "say what!??
pablo, laughing: "i know! that's exactly what i thought."
me: "it's this crazy holiday, pablo. maybe it's not so bad after all."
pablo: "I'LL say it's crazy. I'M here alone and THEY're out?"

ahahahahahaha. it's so true. pablo's always off with some hot girl or another. he must have forgotten to take someone flowers. hmm...i forgot to ask if the flowers were still connected to the stems. and it's probably a good thing, too. knowing pablo, if the thought had occurred to him, he'd have had those daisies decapitated in a new york minute.

what i don't know is whether he'd have taken the stems or the flowers...