(updated) SOTD / FOTD / HOTD

Funny Of The Day (check out the guy on the far right.)



Hat Of The Day (my dad, the bee keeper. click to enlarge.)



update: Story Of The Day (sometimes alzheimer's is fun)...AFTER the CUT.

“One ringy-dingy. Two ringy-dingy. Hello, have I reached the party to whom I am speaking?” that's Ernestine, the snorting telephone operator from Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In.

I’m sure Ernestine could have given a good share of telemarketers a run for their obnoxious money in her day, and i’ve heard some pretty funny telemarketing foils since then; like answering machines set to repeat the same question over and over, or that holler at and threaten the caller.
One of the funniest involves implicating the caller in the recent *murder* of the call-ee.

But my mom’s got ‘em all beat. (does too!) and she wasn’t even trying...

Here’s a small portion of a mind boggling conversation I recently heard her having with a very hungry, and presumably both patient and frustrated, telemarketer.

The Best Telemarketing Antidote, Ever

[I can hear a man’s voice and its changing tone, but not his words. The following is some of what I heard mom say in reply.]

“I don’t know because I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what you’re trying to get me to do.”
“too old to tell.”
“more than 85.”
“no I’m not married.”
“what?”
“bring a friend? where?”
“what?”
"what vacation?"
"you did? when?"
“I’m not sure I understand what you just said.”
“you say you’re going to send me something?”
“look for it? look for...what?
"where???”
”I don’t even know where my mailbox is.”
"what?"
“what are you going to send me, again?”
“what?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
"what are you talking about, now?"
“a vacation!?”
“now why are you giving me this free vacation?”
“do you work for a company?”
“what are you saying?”
“I’ve never heard of that.”
"what vacation?"
“I don’t understand a word you’re saying.”

The conversation lasted a good ten minutes so you know there were plenty more I-don’t-understand-a-word-you’re-sayings than I described and more "what?"s than you can shake a stick at. My guess is, the guy on the other end probably got credit for a successful call or something, but he sure as hell had to work for that one.

I was holding back laughing the whole time, but when she finally got off the phone I flat lost it. Then we both started laughing so hard we were snorting and tearing up.

Who needs the no call list with such fun entertainment to be had?